Is ODD a Disorder, or a Symptom of a Broken System?

 

Is ODD a Disorder, or a Symptom of a Broken System?

When we talk about Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), we often assume it is a stand-alone disorder, a condition where a child is deliberately defiant, argumentative, and resistant to authority. But I believe ODD is less about a child being “disordered” and more about how we, as a society, misunderstand behaviour that doesn’t conform to rigid expectations.

The History of Labelling Non-Conforming Children

In 1902, the terminology for what we now call ADHD was “an abnormal defect of moral control in children.”

This was only 32 years after education became compulsory in England (1870). Suddenly, children who naturally struggled to sit still, stay focused, or follow repetitive routines were judged as having something wrong with them.

These were likely the children who refused to conform to a rigid institution, and rather than questioning the environment or teaching methods, society questioned the child’s morality and self-control.

Is ODD Just a Modern Version of This?

Fast forward to today, and we see similar patterns with ODD.

Many children diagnosed with ODD are neurodivergent, often with ADHD, autism, PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), OCD, or RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria). Their behaviour, refusal, defiance, or anger is frequently a reaction to feeling controlled, misunderstood, or constantly criticised,  not a deliberate attempt to be “bad.”

The question we should be asking is:

Is ODD a disorder, or is it an effect of living in a world that doesn’t accommodate neurodivergent needs?

Why Labelling It a Disorder Is Harmful

By calling a child’s defiance a “disorder,” we risk:

Blaming the child rather than looking at the environment or the root cause.

Overlooking triggers such as sensory overload, anxiety, trauma, or executive dysfunction.

Failing to see defiance as a form of communication, a way of saying, “I feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or unheard.”

This is not unlike how children with ADHD were labelled as having a defect in “moral control” in 1902, as though the fault lay entirely within the child, not in the demands placed on them.

ODD or RSD?

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is common in ADHD and autism. It causes extreme emotional pain when a person thinks they are being criticised or rejected, even when no criticism was intended.

For a child with RSD, a simple instruction like “Please tidy your room” can feel like:

“You’re a failure for not doing it already.”

This leads to defensive outbursts, arguments, or shutdowns. These can look exactly like ODD, but they come from emotional pain, not defiance.

ODD or PDA?

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is another condition that can mimic ODD. Children with PDA resist everyday demands not because they want to cause trouble, but because complying triggers intense anxiety and a feeling of losing control.

For example:

Asking a child with PDA to get dressed might trigger a meltdown because they feel pressured or trapped, not because they want to be defiant.

In both RSD and PDA, what looks like “defiance” is often a survival mechanism.

How Parents and Teachers Can Respond Differently

Instead of viewing the behaviour as deliberate defiance (ODD), try:

Connection over control:

“I see you’re upset. Let’s do this together,” instead of “Do as I say now.”

Offering choices:

“Would you like to do your homework before dinner or after?”, reducing the feeling of being controlled.

Validating emotions:

“I can see you’re frustrated. That’s okay. Let’s find a way that works for you.”

Pre-empting triggers:

Recognising that unexpected changes, sensory overload, or feeling criticised can lead to opposition.

Could ODD Simply Be a Response?

I believe many behaviours we associate with ODD are:

A natural response to feeling powerless or controlled,

A way of regaining autonomy in a world that demands compliance,

A sign that a child’s emotional or sensory needs are not being understood.

Perhaps ODD isn’t a disorder at all. Perhaps it’s a signal that we need to change how we approach and support these children.

Rethinking ODD

What if we stopped asking, “How do we fix this defiant child?”

And instead asked:

“What is this child trying to tell us?”

“How can we adjust the environment, not the child, to help them feel safe and understood?”

This shift in thinking could change everything, just as our understanding of ADHD has evolved since the harsh labels of 1902.