Understanding delayed processing in ADHD and autism

 Understanding delayed processing in ADHD and autism

When Things Click Two Days Too Late

Have you ever been out socialising, chatting away, and someone says something, maybe a sarcastic comment or even tells a lie, and you smile, laugh along, or say nothing... Only for it to suddenly make sense two days later?

You finally understand what they meant. You realise it was rude or dishonest. But by then, it is too late to go back and challenge it.

This is what delayed processing can look like in everyday life. And it is something many autistic and ADHD people experience, not because they are slow or unintelligent, but because their brains work differently.

Social situations can be overwhelming

In the moment, your brain might be juggling: 

• background noise

 • facial expressions 

• trying to follow a conversation 

• masking your own discomfort 

• and keeping track of what to say next

That is a lot.

So when someone makes a sarcastic remark or says something off, your brain might take in the words but not fully understand the meaning until later, when things feel calmer and quieter.

“Why did I not say something?”

This often leaves people feeling frustrated with themselves. 

• “I should have said something.” 

• “Why did I not get it at the time?” 

• “Now I just look silly.”

But this is not about being slow. It is about how your brain handles information under pressure. For many neurodivergent people, there is a delay between hearing something and being able to respond.

You may even replay the situation over and over in your head, thinking of what you could have said.

It is not just you

This happens a lot, not just with sarcasm, but: 

• when someone lies and you only realise later 

• when a joke does not land until after the moment has passed 

• when you go home and suddenly realise someone was being unkind

It can feel frustrating or isolating, but it is very common. It is simply how some brains process social and emotional information.

Final thought

Delayed processing is not a fault. It is just a different way of thinking. You might not always catch things in the moment, but your reflections later are just as valid.