Executive Function: Why Strategies Help But Don’t ‘Fix’ the Struggle

Executive Function: Why Strategies Help But Don’t ‘Fix’ the Struggle

There’s a common misconception that if you try hard enough, take medication, or simply “be more organised,” executive function difficulties will fade away. The truth is, they don’t. For those who have ADHD or autistic, executive function is always going to present challenges. What changes is how we learn to live with those challenges, usually by building strategies and supports around them.

Strategies Are Lifelines, Not Cures

Tools like lists, calendars, reminders, or alarms don’t magically erase the difficulties, they compensate for them. They act like scaffolding around a building that needs extra support. But if the scaffolding is removed, the original structure is still there, with all its vulnerabilities.

And it’s worth remembering: even using those tools takes effort. Writing a list or programming a reminder is not simple. It involves planning, organising, prioritising, and task initiation, all skills that are part of executive function itself. So, when someone does manage to get that list written or set the appointment in their phone, they’ve already worked incredibly hard.

Scenario 1: The Forgotten Appointment

Sam carefully puts an appointment in his phone calendar, with two alarms set to remind him. Just getting that in the calendar required him to:

remember the appointment details

open the right app

type it in correctly

set alarms in advance

That’s a lot of executive function steps. On the day, his phone battery dies. Without the external prompt, Sam misses the appointment. It’s not because he doesn’t care or isn’t trying, his brain simply doesn’t hold onto dates and times without external reinforcement.

Scenario 2: The Lost Shopping List

Ella writes a list before going food shopping. It takes effort and focus, but she feels proud she managed to plan ahead. To even make the list she had to:

look in cupboards and the fridge

work out what meals she could make

decide what was a priority for the budget

write it all down in order

That is hard executive work. But when she arrives at the shop, she realises she left the list on the kitchen counter. Suddenly, the overwhelm kicks back in, the aisles feel chaotic, decisions become exhausting, and she leaves with half the things she needed.

Scenario 3: The Overdue Bills

Michael sets reminders on his smart speaker to pay bills. That in itself required him to:

notice the bill had arrived

decide when to pay it

set up a voice reminder at the right time

It works well until the Wi-Fi goes down for a few days. Without the prompts, the bills slip his mind. The result isn’t laziness or carelessness, it’s a gap in executive function support.

Living With Ongoing Support

The reality is that executive function doesn’t “improve” in the way people often hope. It can’t be trained away by willpower. But with the right scaffolding in place, reminders, structure, supportive people, life can be navigated successfully.

For families, the key is understanding that when things fall apart, it’s not because someone “didn’t try hard enough.” It’s because the scaffolding slipped, and they need help rebuilding it. Compassion, not criticism, makes all the difference.